so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
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i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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