I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
