Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
