I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize
