Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
