happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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