Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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