i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
