I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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