Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
