Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
