id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
