is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
