yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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