your room smells of hookers.
And success
i will never coherently bang her
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
