all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
