I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
