Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
