All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
