I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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