every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
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