My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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