We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
