I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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