i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
