made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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