is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How's work?
Spinning.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
