she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
