Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
