if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
