I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
