I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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