Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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