just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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