I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
