things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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