And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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