wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
