How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I intend to get homeless drunk
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
