I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I got her a Nickelback box set.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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