I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
