What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize