You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
