My room smells like vodka and shame
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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