i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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