i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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