so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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