"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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