I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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