there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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