I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
