you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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