This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Randomize
