Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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