i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
